• Ramey Jean

Hey Hey HEEEY! Vulnerable Confession*

Had myself a bad moment last week, let it fester longer than a minute and it took over.


So I let this one tiny insignificant thing bother me and then all of these unpleasant thoughts crept in... I haven't been to the gym, I haven't cooked a really good meal in a while, I need to vacuum again, Is John happy? Faith happy? Even if my Pups were happy? I miss my friends, I miss Grace, I miss my family.... So weird how this train not only sped up, it literally hauled off and shot into space. Not sure if it was because I recently wrote about how our thoughts are continuous and how important it is to stop the bad ones in their tracks.


What a practice, what a consistent practice. To not let my guard down for a second. I stopped thinking about most of these things within a few hours, but a couple lingered. Some even today, I think about as I write. I could literally cry because I am making something completely out of nothing. I did this to myself. I gave these thoughts the power to consume me. The crazy thing was that nothing even happened to give them substance. I haven't gained weight, no one complained about my cooking or how the floor needed vacuuming... They were just there. Like a little movie I was playing in my head where my mind made up the sequence of random bad thoughts. I caused myself such bad anxiety, over nothing...literally nothing.


I had a moment of weakness, and I insist upon myself to stop it NOW. My affirmation... I have the ability to control my thoughts and the string of thoughts thereafter. I am taking action NOW to flip it around and know that I have the confidence to do it. I won't let anxiety win.


I recognize that I am better than that. There is no reason to feel crappy about it, it just brings more crappy feelings. I am done with it, I don't like being there, so I won't. There is no going back. Those minutes, hours and days are now lost. I can only move in one direction and decide how my minutes, hours and days will be going forward.


This is real. My open book to show this is a process and my determination for it to work in MY FAVOR. To lead to MY HAPPINESS and MY SUCCESS.


Thank you for reading! Support is important in this process and I'd like to thank you, my family and friends for being there.


~rj


Photo cred: google (If someone knows if I have to do this every time, let me know. I'd rather not write this if I don't have to haha)


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